I grew up in atheistic environment. My parents grew up in catholic
families but the religion was heavilly supressed in our country at the time
when I was a kid. Nevertheless I always found the question of religion very
intersting. In fact I was never considering other religion than catholic.
The first bible that I've seen was a big red book with pictures on every
other side. I was never guided to read it, but I did anyway.
Later I got my hands on bible that bought my brother for himself. It was quite a small book with wery thin pages and no pictures. He was at that time on college. I think that he got the same non-existent intorduction to religion as I did. Although this book was much smaller. It had over six hundred pages. I did not read it complete, but my reception of catholic religion was shattered. The Genesis was ok. Intersting stuff and so on. But later the book just keeps talking about wars, revenge about countries that God helps to decime in favor of his folk. It is not about piece, love, forgivness. It is full of violence.
I read also the gospels. They were better. Eventually I've found out that I can remember more stories and facts from holy bible, than my parents.
When I got to the college. I've seen another edition of Holy Bible by a friend and asked him to get one for me too. When you look at it, it gives you an idea why a thick book is called a bible ;-) . I also met one girl that was comming from very religious familly. There was a student-mass held in the downtown where she attended every week. I joined her once. Than again. She was older than me, but I kept attending another three years after she left. I found it interesting. Regardless of the outside temperature it always felt warm. The majority of people there were students and also the speach of priest was directed to students. It was often talking about young people, their problems. If I was in the same city again, I'd like to go there again.
But I had to move. The study period was over. I went to the church
several times afterwards, but I never found it so appealing again.
One more thing. I should probably try to answer the basic question:
do I believe there is a God?
I don't know. My view on the world was formed around scientific facts which makes it hard for me. But if you feel it simmilar and do not like it, consider following:
Imagine that the society is a God. If you consider the society as a "single body", then what is difference between this body and God? It knows everything - the society is big and it is enough if there is one member that knows something and you can claim that the society knows that. It can do everything. Given enough time the society can achieve everthing. It can speak all the languages. The society is everywhere where you are, because you are part of the society. It knows your deepest toughts, because you know them and you are a society. The society decides what is wrong and what is right. It has the same criteria. For society to survive it is essential to stick with 'shall not kill'. So what is the difference?